No Countries for Unfunny Folks

For Week 746, The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers for mottoes or tourism slogans for countries around the world. Here are the winners (affectionately known as Losers):

4. France: Visit, If You Must. (Sigh.) (Martin Bancroft, Rochester, N.Y.)

3. Burma: What Happens Here REALLY Stays Here. (Rick Haynes, Potomac)

2. the winner of the can of quite possibly genuine Possum Ding Dongs: United States: We Make the World a Warmer Place (Paul VerNooy, Hockessin, Del.)

And the Winner of the Inker:

England: Lie Back and Think of Us (Tom Murphy, Bowie)

The Mis-Universe Semi-Finalists

Austria: No Kangaroos (John Alvey, Annandale, almost a First Offender -- his only other ink was in 1994)

Bermuda: Come Lose Yourself (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

Burkina Faso: Not Your Father's Upper Volta (George Vary, Bethesda)

We need no signs
Nor shaving cream
Nor your dissent
For our regime
Burma. (Brendan Beary)

Canada: Home of the Almighty Dollar (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

China: Come Visit Your Money (Ira Allen, Bethesda)

Colombia: All It's Cracked Up to Be (Barry Koch, Catlett, Va.)

Denmark: Oh, So Nothing's Rotten in YOUR Country? (Brendan Beary)

England: We Couldn't Beat the Patriots Either (Bruce Evans, Arlington)

France: [motto writers on strike in solidarity with the truffle sorters] (Russ Taylor, Vienna)

Galapagos Islands: Guano Happens (Kevin Dopart)

Germany: It Is Not Necessary to Have a Humorous Slogan (Martin Bancroft)

Germany: Genocide Free Since 1945! (Cy Gardner, Arlington)

Greenland: Site of the 2060 Summer Olympics (J. Larry Schott, Gainesville, Fla.; Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

India: For More Information Press 1 (Matthew Morris, Rockville, a First Offender)

Iran: We're Gonna Party Like It's 999 (Brendan Beary)

Iran: World's Largest Non-American Theocracy (Ira Allen)

Come Visit Liechtenstein: Just Don't All Come at Once (Brendan Beary)

Mexico: A Little Less Crowded Every Day (Dan Milam, Paducah, Ky., a First Offender)

Monaco: Disneyland for Adults -- and Almost Twice as Large (Russell Beland, Springfield)

Myanmar: We Liked "Burma" Better Too, but These Guys Have Guns (Jeff Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)

Norway: Just a Little to the Left of Sweden (Matthew Morris)

Pakistan: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Qatar: Wish U Were Here (Barry Koch)

Tajikistan: Stan of Opportunity (Cy Gardner)

Tibet: Doormat to China (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf)

United States: War Is Peace (Bill Moulden, Frederick)

And Last:

Bosnia: The Peaceful Land Surrounded by Nations of Murderous Thieves

Herzegovina: The Peaceful Land Surrounded by Nations of Murderous Thieves

Croatia: The Peaceful Land Surrounded by Nations of Murderous Thieves

Serbia: The Peaceful Land Surrounded by Nations of Murderous Thieves

Macedonia: The Peaceful Land Surrounded by Nations of Murderous Thieves

Montenegro: The Peaceful Land Surrounded by Nations of Murderous Thieves (Peter Metrinko, Chantilly)

Pawlie Kokonuts was not deemed funny enough. Do you I agree? Here's a select list of my entries:

Chile -- Thin, But Long, For Your Pleasure.

Chile -- We're Not Just Peppers Anymore.

Cayman Islands -- No Deposit, No Return

Cayman Islands -- The World's Financial Laundromat

Cayman Islands -- Your cash, we stash.

Cayman Islands -- The bucks stop here.

Cayman Islands -- Have lockbox, will prosper.

Cayman Islands -- Don't worry, be tax-free.

Albania -- Tractors soon we have.

Afghanistan -- Come, hide with us.

Afghanistan -- Poppies, Mountains, Caves: Take Your Pick.

Canada -- The Puck Stops Here, eh?

(What's with all the Cayman Islands jokes? I've got friends there, including my son's godmother. And to think: I've never visited. Yet.)