I'm currently reading and applying Editor Proof Your Writing 21 steps to the clear prose publishers and agents crave.By Don McNair.
" ~Use fewer 'had' in internal dialogue~
What's wrong with this sentence?
Well, nothing. It's a perfectly respectable sentence. Except... well, it's a step away in tense.
We're saying the subject had already done something at a specific time. Wouldn't it be clearer if we just said this?:
" ~Use fewer 'had' in internal dialogue~
What's wrong with this sentence?
She had spent the money foolishly.
Well, nothing. It's a perfectly respectable sentence. Except... well, it's a step away in tense.
We're saying the subject had already done something at a specific time. Wouldn't it be clearer if we just said this?:
She spent her money foolishly. " pg 74
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